thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

minerfromtarn:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

minerfromtarn:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

deerney:

autisticstevonnie:

thatdisneyworldblog:

I think this is the most hilarious thing

the storybook font is what does it for me

Ok so I have a story. I worked Fantasyland (Dumbo) at Magic Kingdom. We had a girl transfer from Pirates of the Caribbean. And she told me the most amazing story.

So Pirates is down (shocking) And this particular boat is stopped at the first big scene, Where Barbosa is on the ship yelling for Jack Sparrow.

Anyway the boat has been stopped for about 15 minutes at this point, and there’s a couple sitting alone in the back. So the guy decides that nothing gets him in a better mood than the smell of water that hasn’t been changed in roughly 50 years, and convinces his girlfriend to blow him.

Now this girl is in the booth, along with the coordinator, watching this go down. Literally. There’s not much they can do to stop it at this point, other than notify security. Then another problem arises. The guy finishes, and the girl makes the motion to spit.

In. The. Fucking. Water.

Now if that load is released into the water, thats an automatic biohazard, and the ride is shut down for weeks. The water is removed, the ride path is scrubbed, along with the ride vehicles, and then new water is brought in. Costing the company thousands of dollara and pissed off tourists. The worst combination on this earth.

Panicking at this predicament, the coordinator grabs the mic in the control booth and says:

“Spitting is for quitters.”

This echoes over the bitching of guests and 50 year old audio of pirates commiting various crimes.

The look on this woman’s face was priceless. She gazes up, as if Walt himself commanded her from the grave, and swallows.

I’m told the ride started 5 minutes later and the couple ran out from the exit queue as fast as they could.

And this is why you dont fuck at Disney. Because cast members will call you out and it will be the highlight of our day.

<3 DON’T FUCK AT DISNEY <3

THE ANIMATRONICS SEE UR SEXING

WITH THEIR COLD PLASTIC EYES

AND EVERYONE KNOWS IF U SPIT OR SWALLOW

INCLUDING THE TORTURED GHOST OF WALT DISNEY HIMSELF

Also given the sheer volume of “Haunted Disney Attraction” stories out there on the internet I really like to hope the woman in this story genuinely thought a Literal Unquiet Spirit was watching her and her boyfriend have a quickie here

Pfffffft

Also I never thought I could really be shocked anymore after This Long On The Internet but I am genuinely shocked that people have sex on Disney rides?

Like

me and my gf are a pair of Complete Perverts but we have never had sex when we’ve been to Disney land like

No

It is a Place of Wonder and Innocence

If my gf tried to have sex with me at Disneyland I’d be like “Babe no DONALD AND GOOFY CAN SEE EVERYTHING”

If someone is having sex on It’s A Small World I am full on Judging

If your THAT HORNY where you have to fuck as soon as possible then go back to your hotel and do it in the elevator like civilised people

Oh my gosh, Sam XD. And well, from what Friends told us, before the divorced, Ross and Carol did it on Its A Small World.

I feel like this experience might have been part of Carol’s journey toward realising Dating Dudes Was a Mistake