robotmango:

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

1. dimplesandcutesmiles reblogged this from otpyoureforgiven
2. jasonsvorrhees liked this
3. educatedinyellow reblogged this from thetimemoves
4. atalltimesiwillblessthelord reblogged this from 0hheytherebigbadwolf
5. otpyoureforgiven reblogged this from when-it-rains-it-snows
6. atalltimesiwillblessthelord liked this
7. i-buttle liked this
8. vulgarweed reblogged this from thetimemoves
9. thetimemoves reblogged this from beccaoftheglen and added:

   A more accurate depiction of humidity I’ve yet to discover…

10. chloejean01 liked this
11. darthgryffon reblogged this from kata-chthonia
12. the-gin-djinn reblogged this from dagothwaver
13. elpintordelcielo reblogged this from nudityandnerdery
14. sarcastich liked this
15. aradiantsun reblogged this from stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick
16. stark-enigma reblogged this from runningwolf62
17. yousuckflounderlemming reblogged this from koalastick
18. koalastick reblogged this from kineticpenguin
19. gen-is-gone reblogged this from fierceawakening
20. 9over0 reblogged this from righteous-maximus
21. dreamerwaking reblogged this from devildoll
22. the-avada reblogged this from amarits
23. the-avada liked this
24. frozen-fox reblogged this from amarits
25. the-flailing-octopus reblogged this from brooklyn-marie
26. railadraconis reblogged this from amarits
27. brooklyn-marie reblogged this from mothmanismyuncle
28. imlaxdris71 liked this
29. extraterra liked this
30. crimson-door reblogged this from elidyce
31. 9over0 liked this
32. stormieminds liked this
33. righteous-maximus reblogged this from thefutureisyellow
34. cunty-cuntasaurus-rex reblogged this from wellpresseddaisy
35. cunty-cuntasaurus-rex liked this
36. chaseha-wing reblogged this from amarits
37. pfannkuchendammerung reblogged this from queers4years
38. keetajet reblogged this from amarits and added:

    Guys, get WTForcast and turn off the profanity filter.

39. greengobsmacked reblogged this from amarits
40. gojosauce liked this
41. kelley-jane liked this
42. seoul-food liked this
43. divinegiftofarticulatespeech liked this
44. amarits reblogged this from symsykins
45. robotmango posted this
46. Show more notesLoading...