raindogs:

hello jeremy. Before you is a plate of broccoli and a fork. Under the broccoli is the key to your freedom. you must finish every broccoli on your plate or no fortnite for a week. You have until bedtime

kushblazer666:

inthefallofasparrow:

meiga-en-cautiverio:

fatal5:

I need people reblogging this without context to know that this is literally a quote from the tv show Hannibal.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti:

This morning at brunch the server came out and he was like “unfortunately we don’t have ice right now because a server just broke a glass in it” and we were all like “no that’s fine I think an element of danger at brunch is sexy and fun” and he was like no absolutely I get that but I still can’t let you eat glass at my job

kinda weird hozier asks

goodmorningfrog:

- Take Me To Church- Are you religious?

- Work Song- Is there anyone you’d sing a love song to, romantic or platonic?

- Someone New- Do you fall in love easily?

- Almost- Do you ever dance alone to music?

- Cherry Wine- Do you have a sweet tooth?

- Nina Cried Power- Do you participate in any activist movements?

- From Eden- Do you think theres “something tragic about this” life?

- Movement- Do you perform in any way?

- Angel Of Small Death and The Codeine Scene- Any addictions?

- Like Real People Do- Have you kissed people?

- Jackie and Wilson- Do you want kids?

- Shrike- What’s your favorite bird?

- Dinner and Diatribes- What’s your favorite food?

- Moment’s Silence- What do you find beautiful about the situation you’re in now?

- Would That I- Is there anything you wish you could change about the past?

- NFWMB- Is there anything you would protect with your life?

- To Be Alone- Do you prefer other people’s company or your own?

- Arsonist’s Lullabye- Do you ever feel lost?

- No Plan- Do you believe in a pre-determined purpose in life?

- Sedated- What time do you go to sleep?

- As it Was- Do you go to many parks and natural places?

- In A Week- How do you want to die?

- Be- Have you changed much as a person in the last year?

- In the Woods Somewhere- Have you ever had a supernatural experience?

- My Love Will Never Die- Are you dating anyone?

- It Will Come Back- Do you like to write?

- To Noise Making- Do you like to sing?

- Talk- What’s your best friend like?

- Nobody- Who in your life is important to you?

- Foreigner’s God- Do you ever talk to yourself or something above?

- Sunlight- Do you prefer sunny or rainy weather, or somewhere in between?

Thanks for playing!

libertineangel:

vaccinated:

hate when you reblog a random cropped aesthetic post and some fool comes in your inbox like “this is from an incest hentai ye wee cunting man and if it isnt deleted by 2 pm yer callout will be strewn about the daily post” like aye how was i supposed tae know, and a better question why do you know this sire

funnytwittertweets:

synthgay:

5u5:

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

please see a gynecologist

thief-anon:

lesbicx:

rb this to give the person you reblogged from a very tiny frog

addictivities:

addictivities:

someone put me down in a flat surface and keep me still so i can calibrate

please

doped-up-marxist:

“Don’t lie to people” is all very good until u remember how funny it is to give the wrong birthday to an astrology person and have them go “that explains so much abt you